Comments on: 3 Ways to Keep the Love Aflame: A Husband’s Perspective http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/love-in-marriage maximising potentials in dating, relationships and marriages Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:05:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Pele http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/love-in-marriage#comment-10 Pele Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:28:24 +0000 http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-the-love-aflame-a-husband%e2%80%99s-perspective#comment-10 It is true that our culture, upbringing and life experiences affect how we react in various situations and in marriage. With communication both parties can understand each other’s needs and love language(s) (Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service & Physical Touch). Few men find it easy to express how they want to be loved to their wives, especially in African cultures where physical expressions of love such as hugging and kissing is hardly done and where men are expected to be void any form of emotions. In every man is a kid that genuinely desires to be loved, appreciated and motivated. Sometimes the male ego prevents men from admitting this fact. I find some truth in the common saying that “...behind every successful man is a woman...” who usually is either his wife or mother full of love, support and encouragement. I believe for a man to express his desire to be loved to his wife, is a very bold step and an indication that his love tank is empty. Some men view this as a sign of weakness and instead decide to seek satisfaction elsewhere. The same applies when the wife begins to ask her husband ‘do you love me?’ This need should only be satisfied within the boundaries of marriage. It would take time and practise and get use to hugging and kissing especially if not brought up in an environment where outward expression of love is shown in marriage / family. With commitment to change from both parties and the genuine desire to please each other, this hurdle can be scaled and the barrier broken. God created us as Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Beings (Spirit, Soul and Body). Thus for us to be whole we need to function effectively spiritually by being born again, emotional by being loved and shown love and physically by staying healthy. If one aspect is lacking a void is created and science tells us that a void will always want filling. We can do all things through Christ that strengthens us; the Lord is your strength [bible]Philippians 4:13[/bible] It is true that our culture, upbringing and life experiences affect how we react in various situations and in marriage. With communication both parties can understand each other’s needs and love language(s) (Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service & Physical Touch). Few men find it easy to express how they want to be loved to their wives, especially in African cultures where physical expressions of love such as hugging and kissing is hardly done and where men are expected to be void any form of emotions. In every man is a kid that genuinely desires to be loved, appreciated and motivated. Sometimes the male ego prevents men from admitting this fact. I find some truth in the common saying that “…behind every successful man is a woman…” who usually is either his wife or mother full of love, support and encouragement.

I believe for a man to express his desire to be loved to his wife, is a very bold step and an indication that his love tank is empty. Some men view this as a sign of weakness and instead decide to seek satisfaction elsewhere. The same applies when the wife begins to ask her husband ‘do you love me?’ This need should only be satisfied within the boundaries of marriage.

It would take time and practise and get use to hugging and kissing especially if not brought up in an environment where outward expression of love is shown in marriage / family. With commitment to change from both parties and the genuine desire to please each other, this hurdle can be scaled and the barrier broken. God created us as Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Beings (Spirit, Soul and Body). Thus for us to be whole we need to function effectively spiritually by being born again, emotional by being loved and shown love and physically by staying healthy. If one aspect is lacking a void is created and science tells us that a void will always want filling.
We can do all things through Christ that strengthens us; the Lord is your strength Philippians 4:13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. - King James Version

]]> By: Stella Ebhodaghe http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/love-in-marriage#comment-8 Stella Ebhodaghe Mon, 03 Dec 2007 07:50:00 +0000 http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-the-love-aflame-a-husband%e2%80%99s-perspective#comment-8 Hi As much as i may want to brush aside these points,i cannot deny the fact that they are actually true,my husband had actually made an effort to let me know his needs as a man and these points you listed are part of them. But what happens in suituations where it is not commonly done in ones culture,e.g the kissing and hugging when welcoming him back from work?, How can one help it?. Hi
As much as i may want to brush aside these points,i cannot deny the fact that they are actually true,my husband had actually made an effort to let me know his needs as a man and these points you listed are part of them. But what happens in suituations where it is not commonly done in ones culture,e.g the kissing and hugging when welcoming him back from work?, How can one help it?.

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