Discerning the flower of your age

April 29, 2008 by Pele Odiase | Tell a friend |

Is there a right time or age to get married? How do I know when the time is right? These are some of the questions a number of people may be asking, men and women alike. A straight answer could be, “if you’re asking these questions then you are not ready to get married!” While there may be some truth in that response but it may not always be the case.

Getting married is a very big step to take, probably the biggest and most important decision you’ll ever take. More often than not, the gravity of the decision causes people to have cold feet especially if it’s the first time. Also, the alleged opinions and accounts of awful marriages paint an ugly picture of what marriage shouldn’t be.

So how do you determine the flower of your age i.e. the right time to tie the knot? 1 Corinthians 7:36But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. - King James VersionWhile the age at which one is legally able to marry differs from country to country, there are other factors that are also important.

The state of your mind

You need to understand what marriage is all about, why it is necessary and how it should be lived out. There is no better way to know how a piece of equipment functions other than reading the manufacturers manual. So to know and get the best out of marriage, consult the bible to know the mind of God. Also, you need to understand differences in which men and women are wired and a sense of responsibility.

Maturity

Marriage can throw some punches, some of them can be really hard. When faced with the reality of living together with another human being it requires lots of maturity, perseverance, tolerance and what some may call ‘liver’. It does require wisdom, a commitment to change and a heart to forgive. God help us!

Means of living

while money shouldn’t be the ultimate deciding factor in making the ultimate decision, a lack of it can put unbelievable stress on the marriage. You need to think of practical ways you can make ends meet and probably overlap and not just speaking in tongues and believing God for hand outs.

Consent and approval

I believe in spiritual authority in which the pastor / priest under whose word you sit should have a say in when it is right to get married. Hopefully you would be in a church where the uncompromising word is preached. They are representatives of God and have the charge to shepherd the flock and would probably be joining you in wedlock. Listen to what they have to say and give it a place when making you decision. Also seek parental advice and consent especially if you have bible believing parents. Their words of wisdom and advice would go a long way in helping you avoid pitfalls that are less obvious to you.

Be focused and have a plan for your life. If you believe that you would get married someday and you confess it in faith. Guess what, you will reap what you sow many live out the flower of their age in youthful exuberance and juvenile delinquency, enjoying the thrills of perceived liberty, hoping from one relationship to the other. Soon time would drown the light of their age and the once sought for becomes obscure and depreciated. It’s worth mentioning that circumstances differ from person to person so age isn’t always a determining factor of the flower of your age. Someone may marry and 22 and another at 45, same difference, Jesus is still Lord of the breakthrough. The crux of the matter is getting wisdom and understanding to discern the right time.