How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant?

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Your parents are devout Christians, dedicated and pious. They are well respected in the community, in church and amongst friends. Perhaps they are leaders in church and sometimes are given the opportunity to preach the word. In the eyes of everyone they are the perfect family, happily married with children, and you happen to be one of them. They played their roles as good parents, they taught their kids the bible and lived their lives by example. But you were not having any of it, hidden from the eyes of your parents you lived a rebellious life. You couldn’t wait to turn 16, now you are an adult, so you say. Last month the partying was great, you were so high on alcohol you could hardly remember anything, although that wasn’t the first time. Today you found out you’re 4 weeks pregnant and you are wondering how to tell your parents.

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It is a difficult situation you’ve found yourself in, at 16 you should still be in high school or perhaps in A levels. This situation would affect your future and change the course of your destiny. Not only have you brought shame to yourself and your family, you have committed a sin in the eyes of God. How you break the news to your parents would go a long in determining how they would receive it and react. First and foremost do you have any remorse or are you nonchalant and unrepentant about what you have done? A nonchalant person would not bother anyway, instead they would be unrepentant and arrogant.

For the remorseful and repentant girl, one way to break the news to your parents is through a third party. Preferably someone your parents hold in high esteem and respect. Perhaps an elder or pastor in the church they attend or a member of your family whose words are highly esteemed. They should be able to speak on your behalf and plead your case after listening to your confession.

There is the possibility that you might be ill advised to disregard your parents and start a life on your own as a single parent. The likelihood of this happening is higher is societies where public funds are made available in tax credits, unemployment and child benefits. You would be making a bad situation worse by going down this route. You would be doing yourself and the unborn child a disservice. You both need your parents’ love, support and encourage through life.

The news is likely to break the hearts of your parents, but at the long run it is important that they are told about it, not from anyone else but from you. It is an indication that you hold them in high regards even though you missed the mark. Having a secret abortion is also another alternative some may advise, remember that you would be committing murder and would have to live with it for the rest of your life.

Seek God’s forgiveness and learn the lessons you need to learn. A broken and contrite heart God will not despise. He will forgive your sins if you repent and ask for forgiveness but you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Having a child at that age would affect your education and adjustments need to be made to cater for this. It is in this situation that you need help and support from your family. Don’t expect immediate acceptance and forgiveness from your parents, if it does happens praise God. It may take a while for them to swallow the pill. It is a bitter pill to swallow regardless of the fact that they may be sanctified. They are still humans and you have hurt them. It may take time to heal and you would help them heal faster by being more responsible and chaste.

In essence, if you find yourself in this situation, it would be noble to inform your parents yourself; going through a third party would help in easing the tension that would be built up. Even if your parents are not Christians, you still need to inform them and take responsibility for your actions. Better still do not get into such situations in the first place. Be a true Christian living a chaste and renewed life worthy or praise. God has great plans for you, do not derail by worldly pleasures that are fleeting.

Recommended Reading

I’m Pregnant . . . Now What? Heartfelt Advice on Getting Through Unplanned Pregnancy

Compassionate, practical help for navigating crisis pregnancy—from someone who’s been there! In the wake of her own teen daughter’s unplanned pregnancies, Ruth Graham shares her family’s story and offers heartfelt encouragement to others.

Includes expert, Christ-centered advice from a seasoned counselor, plus testimonies from pregnant teens, their family members, adoptive couples, and an adult adoptee.

Surprise Child: Finding Hope in Unexpected Pregnancy

Unplanned pregnancies happen to women in every season of life: the newly married, the never-married, the empty-nester, the teenager, the overworked mother, the career woman. Yet we rarely talk about how lonely and confusing this experience can be.

Leslie Leyland Fields, who experienced two unplanned pregnancies in her forties, weaves her own story with the stories of other women who understand the isolation you face as expectations and plans are turned upside down to make room for a child. Together, these women walk with you month-by-month through the physical and emotional stages of pregnancy, voicing their own anxieties and struggles. Here you will find the companionship and hope you need to journey toward a new life.

About Author

Pele began his education in Nigeria before moving to the UK for a masters degree and subsequently a PhD in computer science. The sharp contrast in life and morals in the UK motivated him to start his blog, a website dedicated to sharing candid and virtuous views to enable individuals and families maximize their potentials in life, relationships and finances.

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