The truth about a lie

December 17, 2007 by Pele Odiase | Tell a friend |

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“Honest is the best policy” as often quoted is definitely the motto to live and abide by in relationships. Why some people may justify the need to tell lies in certain situations, there is no justification to tell a lie. As we perfect holiness in the fear of God we should not consciously set out to deceive or mislead others especially in relationships and in marriage.

Lying is the devils language and when he speaks he speaks lies. In like manner anyone that defaults to lying to get out of tight situations makes the devil his/her father. The bible in many ways stresses the lying tongue and deceitfulness as evil and should not be named amongst us.Proverbs 6:16-19¹⁶These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: ¹⁷A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, ¹⁹A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. - King James VersionRevelation 21:8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. - King James Version Proverbs 12:22Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. - King James Version

One of the points I mentioned in ” 7 Things I Understood Better 12 Months into Marriage ” is going into a relationship with clea hands especially when it would eventually lead to the altar. In trying to impress your date and give a good impression of yourself do not lie or deceive him or her. It would be a horrible feeling to find out that your spouse lied during courtship and deceived you into getting married. Manipulation is wickedness!

Some of the common things deliberately kept hidden from intended spouses include

Financial situation and debt owed
Children from previous relationship
Previous marriages especially after relocating
Medical history and health status
Past and present relationships
Addictions and habits that would warrant re-consideration e.g. drugs, alcohol, pornography, smoking, etc

When dating question should be asked the obvious may not be the reality as we are often very good at pretending to get what we want. It does take the Holy Spirit to discern the lying tongue. So when dating, it is important to be prayerful and trust God to reveal who your intended spouse really is to you.

I am in the school of thought that disagrees with love at first sight. It is more like lust at first sight to me. You don’t just meet a block or lady in the bar and say you found love and a couple of weeks later you get married. No wonder the ever increasing rate of divorce in our generation.

Relationships should be built on trust and integrity. Once this trust is questioned, a great cause for concern emerges. How can you sleep on the same bed with your spouse who you confidently and knowingly lie to? It is wicked! It doesn’t matter what the lie was as long as it was deliberate with the intent to deceive your spouse it brings the element of doubt in the relationship.

What else has my spouse being lying about? Do it mean that I need to double check every information my spouse gives me to know if it’s true of not? Are these children really mine or someone else’s’? Do I really know who my spouse is? These are some of the question that may begin to build up in the deceived party. The person whom you thought was your best friend partner, confidant and lover suddenly becomes a traitor and spy.

Think carefully before you take that step downhill to deceive you spouse. you are destroying the trust and faith your spouse has in you by so doing. You act is also a measure of the value you place on your marriage/relationship and you faith in God. It is very an uphill task to rebuild that trust. Don’t give the devil a foothold in your relationship.

Sometimes we err. To err is human and to forgive is Divine. If you find yourself in a situation whereby your integrity is in question, ask for forgiveness from the person involved and make conscious efforts to regain his/her trust.Colossians 3:9-10⁹Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; ¹⁰And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: - King James Version