What to look for in the guy you are dating

February 2, 2008 by Pele Odiase | Tell a friend | Printer version

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Your watch is on deck and there is this guy you are going out with. He swept you off your feet the first time you saw him. He is so smooth, has sweet lips and a firm butt. He also dresses well, makes you laugh and even buys you lunch. He seems like the perfect gentleman and you couldn’t hesitate to say yes the first time he asked you out for a date. What more can a woman want in a man, you asked. You’re so blown away that you can’t wait for him to pop the question.

Before you start building castles in the sky you may want to slow down a bit and get some wisdom. There are more things to consider before you think of taking the relationship to the next level. A handsome face, a firm butt and sweet lips isn’t all there is to it. The question you should be asking is, what to look out for in the guy to help you decide whether to take the relationship no further or to take it to the next level.

The first thing to ascertain is his salvation. Is he truly born again and does he fear God. When all is said and done, when push turns to shove, it is the fear of God that would keep him within the boundaries of God’s love. How much of the word of God does he have in his heart? Remember out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak.

Does he pay his tithe? If a man can rob God what guarantee do have that he would not cheat on you or deceive you. Is his word his bond? Does he keep to his promises and mean what he says? Does he tell you only what you want to hear garnished with sweet words to make your knees quiver? A real man should be a man of his words, dependable and trustworthy. He should not condone lies and deception or some day you would be on the receiving end.

Does he have a job? The man should be able to hold a job, be diligent and able to provide for his family. The woman was designed to be his helper, but she cannot be of any help to him if he has nothing to do. The woman will get frustrated.

The man should also be spiritually employed in the body of Christ. What ministry or department in the church does he work in? How faithful has he been and who are his mentors in the church?

Does he have a vision? A vision is different from a dream. You will always have a vision before you but you will wake up from a dream. He should have a vision for his spiritual life, work life and family. A righteous man leave wealth for his children’s children. The man should lead his family and if he has no vision, his family is sure to perish. What are his visions are they written and made plain? Are you in tune with them, there shouldn’t be two visions in the family or else there would be division (2 visions = di-vision).

How is his relationship with his family like? He must have come from somewhere; he didn’t just fall from heaven. How he relates with his mother would give you an indication of how your relationship with him would develop. Is he a responsible man and does he take responsibility for actions. Does he always have an excuse for everything? Such a person is unteachable.

Who are his friends? There is this common saying, “show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are”. Who does he hang out with? Bad company corrupts good manners. You can tell from his friends if he is a mediocre, an average man or a man destined for greatness.

Wait a minute! Hope you do not expect to grab a man that meets these criteria when you have fallen short of them! You must be a joker. Before you step out, make sure you have examined yourself. Water would always find its level. Anyway, that’s the whole essence of dating. It is a time to find out who you really are and what you are made off. The same way you would want to find out more about your date. There is always the romance, caring and fun side of dating, but the objectives should always be in focus or else you’ll lose the whole essence of the dating period.

Dating is definitely not the time to fornicate or to check out your sexual compatibility. Even if that seems to be the fad of our generation where you find folks living together outside marriage. Don’t be in a hurry to tie the knot, take your time, enjoy your singleness while it last and remember your creator in your youth. When you’ve reached the flower of your age then you get married. There is dignity in chaste and virtuous living.1 Corinthians 7:36But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. - King James Version

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