Would you prefer to marry someone you know is not right for you and later get a divorce, or break up the relationship before marriage? Regardless of how hard it may be, I know which one I would prefer, do you? The effect of a divorce can be enormous, especially when there are kids involved.
More often than not, the welfare of the kids isn’t given the consideration it deserves when the decision is made. Common sense should allow breaking up prior to marriage to prevail, but common sense isn’t that common.
It’s usually sad to see two people going on to get married when in their heart of hearts they know and are convinced things won’t work out. A number of factors could be responsible for this. They may be going ahead with the wedding plans because of pressure from parents, unplanned pregnancy or to obtain favourable immigration status. At times the unwillingness to call off the wedding could be because invites have already been dispatched and calling off the occasion would be seen as an embarrassment. I should think that until both parties say I do anything is possible, the same way an objection from a witness in the congregation could hamper the wedding ceremony. The decision to get married should be made with a sound mind after much thought and counselling. Your heart should be at peace with the step you are about to take. Really there shouldn’t be doubts, there is no hurry. If you need time, take time to reflect, you will have enough time in marriage.
The length of time your relationship lasted, what people would say and your biological clock shouldn’t prevent you from reconsidering the marriage step. However, if you carried out the dating relationship and courtship properly in the light of God’s word, you shouldn’t develop cold feet when you are about to enter into holy matrimony. The truth is that it takes a lifetime to know your spouse and no two individuals are perfectly compatible, but there needs to be a solid foundation on which to build the relationship. You should share common values as expressed in 2 Factors to consider when building a strong and dynamic dating relationship
It can be a very hard and difficult decision to break up a relationship haven gone this far. It should be considered very carefully and every other option exhausted. Seek advice from mentors you hold in high esteem, especially if they are in the house hold of faith. You can either learn from your mistakes of from your mentors. Remember that the executive decision lies with you. If you find yourself in a dilemma and you have to make the decision to break up the relationship, trust God for wisdom and courage. Find comfort from His word, he can heal every wound and mend the broken-hearted. He would restore your years and all that the canker worms have stolen. He’ll give you renewed hope and wipe away your tears. The Lord is your strength.
