Being Unequally Yoked


In the post "2 Factors to Consider When Building a Strong and Dynamic Dating Relationship", we examined two factors to consider when building a dynamic relationship. Being of like-minded in faith is very crucial for the believer. Both parties need to be singing the same song from the same hymn sheet otherwise there is bound to be disharmony. Being unequally yoked isn’t limited to marrying to someone outside your faith; You can be unequally yoked even if both of your are of the same faith.

There are many denominations in the church today each differing on crucial bible issues. As highlighted in "What To Look For In The Girl You Are Dating", these doctrinal differences include divine healing, assurance of salvation, the use of contraceptives, speaking in tongues, the deity of Jesus Christ and eschatology just to name a few. What you believe and confess is what you would have, there need to be unity in faith for prayers of agreement to work. One person might be trusting God for divine healing and financial break through by praying in the tongues while the other person would be condemning his or her faith because of their unbelief. In essence there are unbelieving believers in churches today and you only need to spend a few minutes watching christian television to discover this.There are genuine reasons why church leaders advice that Christians marry within their local church family. At least there is the greater possibility that both parties would believe the same doctrines.

Being unequally yoked is literally a painful experience. Yokes are usually placed around the necks of cattle while they tend the field. For them to be effective, they need to be equally yoked together otherwise more damage would be done, efforts frustrated and a breeding ground for hatred and malice established. Your vision would be hampered, calling destroyed and you may end up limping all the way through life.

1 Timothy 3:16 – And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.

It is common place to be carried away with love during the dating period while you place less emphasis on the salient differences that exude in denominational doctrines. Except you intend to compromise your faith when married, you are bound to be faced with the effects of unequal yoking when married. When push turns to shove what you are truly made of will comes to light. If you are founded on the word of God, that word that you know would be the light in your darkest paths. The truth that you know would set you free. If you are empty your reactions would be based on head knowledge; what you saw your parents do, what you read in books or the filth you gleaned from soap operas. There is so much one can pretend to know, have or own. Trust God to give you wisdom and the spirit of discernment when you date because after you’ve said I do, it is to death do part.

There could be situations whereby you find someone who isn’t from you local church or denomination. In such situation, it is necessary you discuss the doctrinal differences and your beliefs and be frank about you can and cannot compromise. There are a lot of battles to be fought and won in this life, you would need all the faith and support you can get. A house divided itself cannot stand.

Though the church has its divides along doctrinal issues, the body of Christ isn’t defined by walls or doctrines but by the bible. Because you were born into one denomination doesn’t mean you have to live by the church doctrines. Finding out what the bible says about issues yourself would be liberating. Armed with the truth, you can then find a church that teaches these bible truths. Both parties have to be willing to study the bible and find out what it says about the doctrinal differences in question. Ask the Holy Spirit the author of the bible to give you understanding and insights into the truth that would set you free.

Recommended Reading

The Doctrines That Divide: A Fresh Look at the Historic Doctrines That Separate Christians
Many in the church seek unity by glossing over major theological differences. Lutzer confronts those differences head-on, seeking to give you a clear understanding of why they exist. His non-combative look at infant baptism, sacraments, the worship of Mary, eternal security, and other divisive issues will help you formulate a fresh biblical perspective on historic doctrines

Basic Christianity
A remarkable resource from one of our most beloved leaders! In Basic Christianity John Stott clearly explains the fundamental claims of the Christian faith and explores how these beliefs impact the lives of believers. This volume is perfect for seekers who are desperate to know whether Christianity makes sense and believers who long for a deeper understanding of Christian belief


About Author

Pele began his education in Nigeria before moving to the UK for a masters degree and subsequently a PhD in computer science. The sharp contrast in life and morals in the UK motivated him to start his blog, a website dedicated to sharing candid and virtuous views to enable individuals and families maximize their potentials in life, relationships and finances.

1 Comment

  1. Messenger Micah on

    My brother,i must that doing the kind of thing you are doing is a good thought.
    This is just an admonishment;the scriptures says everyone should should not strive to be teachers because “we” the writer sames will receive stricter judgement.The writer of that New testament book places any teacher in the body of Christ among his class,Hmmm,why am i saying this,if we have opportunity to teach people,we should do it strictly in the living word of God not based on the doctrines of devils propagated by men.Do you remember that Paul prophesied about the doctrines of devils propagated by men that will hinder,restrain,inhibit,prevent,withstand and shorten marriage(1 tim 4:3),teachings that does not have basis on the scriptures but are totally doctrines sponsored by demons propagated by men just to hinder,restrain,inhibit,prevent,withstand and shorten marriage.Today in the body of Christ,these teachings are all over the place and we will not like the idea that we are the one teaching these doctrines….Be careful you do not add to the word of God….The only basis for marriage is true love followed by engagement and then the consummation,be careful you do not add anything extra to the word of God,be careful that you do not burden your readers with these doctrines and hinder true love and marriage,be careful brother…..

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