Virgins, Virginity and the Purpose of Sex


A virgin is a woman who still has her hymen intact which mean she hasn’t had sexual intercourse with any man. I don’t think having oral sex, kissing, romance and the likes without intercourse deflowers a woman even though there are people that think it does. However, this isn’t a license to indulge in sexual acts outside the confines of marriage ,remember you have already guilty of sin by thinking of it in your heart. And as a man thinks so is he.

Does virginity apply only to women then? The answer is no. The fact that here is no physical measure to decide if a man is a virgin or not doesn’t mean he should keep his zippers down and sow seeds in every garden. In my opinion, the absence of a physical measure only puts more responsibility on the man to be upright . The differences between a man and a woman is found only in the body. There is no gender in the spirit we have, and our bodies are the temple of the living God which should be kept holy.

Significance of the female virginity

The breaking of the hymen and shedding of blood when a woman has sex for the first time signifies a blood covenant between the man and woman. This is synonymous to the work of Christ on the cross of Calvary where Jesus shed his blood for humanity. Christ is the groom and the church is His bride. A blood covenant exists between Jesus Christ and the church (his body).

Ephesians 5:25-33 – 25.Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  28.So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

No wonder the sexual perversions that exist in our society today, whereby being a virgin is looked down on and teenagers look forward to getting rid of it as if it’s a plague. How blessed is the woman that gives her virginity to her husband. Blessed among all women she is. If you’ve got yours keep it, if you’ve lost yours redeem it and remain chaste until marriage. Keep the door shut.

The Purpose of Sex

One of the commandments given to man was to replenish the earth. How? By having children! Advancement in medical practices makes procreation possible without the need for sex but it doesn’t nullify the reason sex and genitals were created. Artificial insemination is an exception and not the rule.

God created man and said it was good, sex included. Sex is good, pleasurable and mind blowing while it lasts. How it feels after depends on whether it was done within the confines of marriage or not. Fornication and adultery would bring guilt, shame and a feeling of dirtiness. For those with a conscience, it would bring condemnation and separation from God.

Sex should be a tool and not a weapon in marriage. The bible admonishes couples not to defraud one another without mutual consent. In marriage your body is no longer yours. There are situations where sex is used as a weapon to bargain for favours and needs. A spouse is denied sex because a need isn’t met or to punish the other person for an offense committed. So doing leaves the back door wide open for the devil to come in especially for men where sex is top priority in marriage. The probability of a man seeking satisfaction or having straying eyes would be far less is he is well taken care of and worn out at home. Both parties should desire ways to make it dynamic and an exciting experience.

The bible is silent about what is and isn’t permissible during sex between the husband and wife. There are schools of thoughts that believe oral sex and other sexual acts are outside the boundaries. In my opinion, I would say that whatever both parties agree to be pleasurable to them is acceptable as long as both minds are renewed. It would be out of place and perhaps classed as rape if one party derives pleasure at the cost of the other. If both parties feel hanging off the ceiling hand cuffed with whip lashes is fine, so be it.

The closest form of intimacy is having sex. Both parties literally become one. If you love someone (opposite sex), the natural tendency is to want to have sex with the person. It is absolute natural for the body to desire that and there is nothing abnormal about it. In fact, if your body doesn’t crave to have sex with the person you truly love something isn’t right. However, it doesn’t mean you have to jump from one bed to the other, we should be led by the spirit and not the flesh. How you react to your body’s demands is subject to what your spirit is made of.

Multiple sex partners before marriage can have emotional and psychological effects when you eventually get marriage. Remember you give part of your body to every person you have had sex with and carry a part of the person too. Sex has both physical and spiritual connotations whether you realise it or not. Physically, you exchange bodily fluids and contact STDs if present, the same goes in the spirit. While you can use condoms to prevent the flow and transmission of body fluids and diseases, there isn’t a spiritual device to prevent the flow in the spirit.

Abstinence and living a chaste life is the best way to live. The body would always want to satisfy the desires of the flesh which is absolutely natural but you need to control the body by feeding the spirit with word of God. The word of God is potent and powerful

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 

Recommended Reading

Sex and Character
How does “good character” relate to sexuality? Beginning with teen-friendly stories illustrating principles such as honesty, self-control, and kindness; and progressing to discussions of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and the emotional consequences of unmarried sex, this realistic (though not overtly religious) text offers a thoughtful, solid case for teen abstinence.

Love, Sex, and God – Ages 14 and Up
The fifth in this series of age segregated books, Love, Sex and God deals with the basics of sex, gender, dating, love, STDs, early marriage and pregnancy from a Christian perspective. Questions about sexual characteristics, attitudes, how pregnancy occurs and more are answered forthrightly and in appropriate terms. Conversations and questions from actual teenagers are used as a springboard for further discussion about God’s standards and advice, all of which is written in a friendly, non-confrontational style.


About Author

Pele began his education in Nigeria before moving to the UK for a masters degree and subsequently a PhD in computer science. The sharp contrast in life and morals in the UK motivated him to start his blog, a website dedicated to sharing candid and virtuous views to enable individuals and families maximize their potentials in life, relationships and finances.


  1. Now this article says exactly what I have been telling people all along.
    Until girls figure out that their body is the temple that God has supplied for each of us and that it needs to remain “clean” and pure , then & only then will girls stop giving themselves away to any man that says “If you love me, then show me” .. Actually it should be the other way around, ” if they love you” then they would not ask this of you until you marriage night or day!, then by George go at anytime you’d like.

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